As a 34 year old, I am lucky to have experienced dating before the influx of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Happn made its way onto the scene. I was with someone for 9 years (and married for 6) and in 2012 decided to divorce him and was left with something very different that the dating world I once knew. I was used to men picking me up for a date, bring a bouquet of flowers for me, and making reservations in advance at a nice restaurant. Sad to say that in the last 4 years, I have had exactly one date that happened that way. But why? My guess is dating apps.
Guys no longer have to walk up to a woman or call her on the phone and ask for a date. They sign onto Tinder or the like, swipe through a few hundred girls (yikes), and pick the ones they like best. And of course, similar to Facebook, the pictures are of the singles at their finest – full face of makeup, duck lips, the swings at Lawn on D, etc. Guys(and girls) choose based on the quality of the pictures and the resumes: where they went to school, their job, hobbies, etc. Basically online shopping for an actual person! Tinder is a very superficial platform, you won’t get much about someone’s personality just by looking at a few photos and words describing them.
Soon Tinder, eventually there will be a “match” for two people which opens up the lines for texting via the app. And then more texting. And a little more. Usually at 12:30 at night with a “hey, what are u up to?” I’m sleeping you moron, ts a Tuesday, that’s what I am up to. And so it goes. The texting continues like this and there is never an actual date planned, I just add another pen pal to my list. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have friends who go on plenty of dates through these apps, but they are saying “yes” to literally anyone who asks them and going on 3-4 dates a week. People say now its a “numbers game”. I barely have time to do my dishes between work and school and my business and my dog and my family never mind having to sit through 4 horrific dates a week. Nightmares.
A dating app called Pozee is trying now to reverse the damage done from Tinder et al. The premise of Pozee is to encourage singles to actually meet and talk to each other in person. You must be within 50 meters of each other for them to show in your feed. It helps eradicate the fear of rejection by letting someone know if you are interested or not and let them know you want them to talk to you. The buttons are “Yes”, “Not Now”, and “Never”. You can choose who you want to be visible to and invite someone over to talk to you using the app. (even as I write this, it sounds ludicrous that this is what meeting new people has come to, but I digress.) So you can walk into a bar/cafe, switch on the app, and choose who you would like to talk to. No endless text conversations and swiping. This app is definitely filling a void in the dating world by catering to the more social crowd and those actually serious about meeting someone and not just collecting matches. There is no way to message the other party through the app; the user must actually go up and speak to the person they want to meet. The user can either show themselves as available or hidden if they do not want to be approached. Because the app is showing you a photo of another user within 50 feet, it can also easily weed out catfishes. It would be near impossible to pretend to be someone else when the person is sitting right in front of you and you can compare it to the photo. The app also does not ask for your Facebook information to sign in, which provides more privacy for the user. Pozee is only currently available in Australia, and only on iPhones. An Android version is in the works. I would be inclined to download it once it becomes available on Androids. Overall this one seems a better choice than the plethora of dating apps out there. Do college students use dating apps at all? If so, what are the more popular ones?